Match Reports (Current Season)

6th January 2018

Ladies 1s

Frozen pitch

Ladies 2s

W4-2 Old Loughts 3

Ladies 3s

W3-2 Basildon 4

Ladies 4s

Frozen pitch

Men’s 1s

Frozen pitch

Men’s 2s

Match Report:
The Blue Southend (not to be mixed up with Old Yellow one) vs Green Army Mens 2’s.

Statistics: Possession plenty, turn-overs even more, shots on goal countless, goals home 4, goals away 3.

Teas: Jacket Potatoes Baked Beans, Cheese, Coleslaw, Bread…….. 6/10
Only because the clubhouse is 5miles away from the pitch.

Debuts: Jonathan Jones, Biel Schreuder

Goal Scorers: James Price, Nadeem, Kristis.

Mom: Ian (least amount of fines)

Pop: Kristis (most amount of fines) and for being the second best Lithuanian player in the club… cheers Jonesy.

Long Story short: (with loads of emojis)

Started strong by getting a goal from short corner play, comfortably finished by James Price. 0-1 to Forrest Then the blue Southend had numerous of chances exploiting our defence. All to no avail thanks to multiple Yogi Patel saves !!! Sadly a break down in a Southend short corner routine saw a scruffy goal go in and allowed them to get into the game. 1-1. It stayed that way till half time.

Second half was more interesting , Southend came out strong . A last ditch on the line foot save was made by Rob Humphrey . After the umpires realised he is not our GK a flick was awarded and converted to make it 2-1. Great save Rob, none the less. As play went on, a controversial advantage decision saw play brought back after a shot was made thus giving Southend another chance at goal via a PC. ‍♂️ This was as sods law goes converted and Southend now had a 3-1 lead . Chances came way and after Nadeem got rugby tackled in the D, Forest retaliated by a great open play move and a rightful goal finished off by Nadeem himself . 3-2. A fight back seemed to be on the cards but a lucky near post finish gave Southend a 4-2 lead with only minutes to go . Forest put the pressure on and with the last hit of the game converted a open play goal by ‍♂️ me. It finished 4-3. A loss but lots of things to take out of the game.

P.S – Biel for Match Reports !!!

Men’s 3s

WFHC 3’s vs The old yellow southend 3’s

Now, if you have read the Kristus’ match report, firstly if you haven’t go and read it, you would know that I made my debut for the twos. However, my team are useless and needed me to write it. Now, one may question the validity of my reportage of the event but was there in spirit.

After are embarrassing bottle job against Thurrock, in which we drew after leading 4-0, it was cardinal that we regain are winning form against the old yellow southend. We started abysmally conceding two goals. Howbeit, Tom (who i think was in goal) did this to partake in his superstitious belief that we play better when we’re losing.

Tom’s superstition may be true because the 3’s bounced back with extraordinary play. Forest played flawlessly. Passing the ball around rapidly. Southend penned in. Nutmeg after nutmeg Forest pilling Men forward. Goal. Adam, king of the north, drag flicks in the the top corner. keeper left dyspneic, stunned by the sheer speed of the ball. Immediately after, Ian launches a 60 yard aerial to Morgan. Morgan with the creamiest of touches brings it down gently. He passes 7 or 8 player and passes it to Jack how smashes it top corner on his reverse stick. INCREDIBLE.

As we dominated 90% of possession second half, the umpire thought to make it fair allowed southend to play with 15 players. They didn’t even have 15 players, the old man at the lea valley reception came on and played. But this wasn’t trouble for the mighty vivek who dribbled past all 14 outfield player, nutmegging 5 of them, and slotted it in bottom corner. To round the game of our keeper dribbled the ball out from a sixteen to their 22. Tom then chipped the ball to parvin who does a no-look through the leg reverse it in to the top corner. Parvin then celebrated his goal with a back-flip.

Final score 4-2

Men’s 4s

L7-3 Basildon 1

Men’s 5s

Frozen pitch


L4-1 Old Loughts Willows

The Otters endured a tough away game at physical, table-topping Old Loughts, though all 3 first-half goals conceded had a degree of controversy about them. An improved second half performance brought a goal from William Farrow but thoughts of a comeback were ended by a goal from an unfortunate deflection for a final 4-1 loss.


Thanks to all that played today in the first mixed fixture of 2018. We hosted Hackney Thudercats at a very cold yet sunny Academy and came out 6-2 winners. Another great team performance to beat 2nd in the league Hackney and it was a pleasure to be part of it.

P6 W4 L2.

Don’t normally do PoP but as James Price won that honour by a mile today, just thought I’d mention it.

Faith Newland